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For 2024, Resolve to Die Better Whenever

Shari Haber • Dec 15, 2023

December is the month of lists: grocery lists for festive holiday meals, gift lists for delighting loved ones/friends/business associates and co-workers, and donation lists for bringing some cheer to those less fortunate.


Toward the very end of December, after all the calories, hugs and celebrations, we typically make one last list—our goals for our New Year’s resolution.


Setting these goals requires self reflection about what’s most important to us, so we can gift ourselves greater life satisfaction in the year ahead. Achieving them requires intentionality; avoidance and procrastination will set us up for having regrets about our unmet goals at the end of the year.

The same is true when it comes to advance planning for our whenever death.


We don’t know when we will die, but resolving to advance plan is a good first step toward dying better and with fewer regrets when the time comes. Through the lens of our mortality, we can consider what matters most to us in life, and plan how we want to say goodbye.


These values also guide how we spend our time and complete our life, and can impact our legacy and the way we’re remembered as well. So there’s a lot to think about and lists of options to explore.


End-of-life and after-death care decisions for our goodbye plan are best made when we are not in crisis, and while we have the time and agency to do so. Completing this forward planning will give us peace of mind, and greater appreciation for every sunrise.


Sharing our goodbye plan also is a gift to our loved ones, so their bereavement period isn’t complicated by the stress of decision-making and guessing our wishes while grieving.


Add advance planning for your goodbye to your New Year’s Resolution for 2024!


Email me at shari@mygreatgoodbye.com to schedule a free 30-minute consultation to discuss your goals for dying well and living more fully.

By Shari Haber 22 Mar, 2022
Spring has sprung -- as it does every year at this time. It's when we start preparing and planting seeds for the cycle of plant life that continues through seasons of growth until those of death and decay. Just as it does (with more variable timelines) in humans and all animals. I believe that being mindful about our mortality is life affirming, and reinforces the relationship between living and dying well. Facing the inevitability of this natural cycle also opens us up to the preparation and planning that can make each stage better. A good place to start is to consider what matters most.. Below are my guiding principles about Life & Death. In the spirit of March Madness, why not take a shot at yours?!?
By Shari Haber 14 Feb, 2022
It’s one of the rare times people will be really grateful to you for delineating instructions for a major event that you won’t be attending — or only attending in spirit. I’m talking about planning your own Goodbye: your burial (or not), memorial and legacy, and making many other key decisions surrounding your inevitable death. Because however well-intentioned, the idea that it’d be better not to impose your wishes, to just leave everything for others to figure out while mourning, is false. Nobody wants to guess while grieving. Without a roadmap, loved ones likely will have to scramble and make a numbing number of decisions for you, when fragile emotions may cloud financial judgement, the potential for family conflict is high, and the stress level makes a sad situation worse. Advance planning alleviates a burden from your passing, and can lead to meaningful conversations about what’s important in life as well as death. It frees loved ones to be fully present with you in your final moments instead of dealing with logistics and prices, and gives them space to indulge their sorrow. Prepare further by getting your affairs in order and documented, along with your key account information and passwords. And since death etiquette is real, pare down your possessions so you don’t leave a hot mess to be cleaned up after you. Making a Goodbye Plan isn’t morbid or woo-woo. It’s sensible, an act of loving kindness, and a gift to those who will try to carry out your wishes. Happy Valentine’s Day!
By Shari Haber 14 Feb, 2022
Welcome to the MGG blog. These postings are my way of making the otherwise somber discussion about death and dying a bit lighter, and hopefully more accessible. Whether due to the Baby Boomer generation aging, growing sensitivity to the financial and environmental costs of standard funeral practices, or because we lost more than 900,000 Americans to a global pandemic, death is trending. And as this formally taboo topic assaults us with jarring frequency and seeps into our collective conscious, death also is being reimagined. Modern advancements are disrupting the funeral industry and offering a dizzying array of new alternatives, like aquamation (water cremation) and natural organic reduction (human composting), while we also embrace some methods from earlier times, like home funerals and natural burial. Today we’re thinking outside the box, and choosing options for our Goodbye that reflect our unique spirit and the way we live our lives. There’s a lot to consider, and reconsider, before you can make choices and advance plan your Goodbye. Deal with it, don’t dwell on it. Being prepared will give you great comfort and motivate you to approach life with greater purpose, joy and gratitude. My Great Goodbye is here to help you. I also invite you to email me with your thoughts, reactions or comments to potentially share with a larger audience, so we can support each other in facing the reality of our mortality and moving forward.  ~ Shari
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