Dealing with the "D" Word

Most people don’t know what to say, they just recoil in disbelief.

“You’re starting a Death business? Why?!?"

Two reasons, 30 years apart..

Looking for a “hook” for a TV script I was trying to write in 2014 about Baby Boomer life, I wondered whether Boomers’ trailblazing approach to living extended to dying.

What started with a simple Google search led to a startling discovery of the new and growing number of ways to die better. Death was being reimagined, becoming more person-centric and life affirming. But very few people knew about it because thinking about death is not something many want to do, and talking about death has been culturally taboo.

The more I read, the more convinced I became that facing the reality of our mortality, advance prep and planning were key to dying well. This revelation also deepened my regrets about my Mother’s cookie-cutter funeral more than 30 years ago.

My vivacious Mother died suddenly at the age of 51. She had a Will, but no Goodbye Plan. 

As her eldest child, I helped my stepfather arrange her traditional funeral, choosing from a list of options the funeral home and our spiritual leader provided via telephone the night of her passing. I recall not really hearing or understanding what was discussed, and could barely speak, let alone question. I said yes to most of what was offered, wanting to do as much as I could for her, but I didn't know the costs. 

Since the next evening was the start of a holiday, the funeral had to be kept very short. Between the shock, immense grief and compressed timeframe, there was no opportunity for tributes or personal touches for a woman who was all about the small details. The funeral could have been for Jane Doe.

If there was a plan in place, my family would have had a way to celebrate my Mother's unique life while mourning her death. Many of my friends whose parents left funeral instructions say their bereavement was less stressful because they knew their parents’ final wishes.

I created My Great Goodbye to inspire and empower to make dying and death a better experience for themselves and their loved ones.